Mum reveals how hygiene disorder nearly drove her to suicide
A MOTHER has revealed her obsession with hygiene almost drove her to suicide.
Debbie Thomson, 31, has suffered from obsessive compulsive disorder since she was a child.
-
Hit rock bottom: Debbie Thomson has suffered from OCD since she was a child.
She has revealed how the condition led her to:
Wash her hands until they bled.
Fumigate her house after visitors left.
Believe her family would die if she touched door handles.
Consider killing herself and ask to be sectioned as she believed the illness made her a bad mother.
Debbie considered taking her own life when her condition spiralled out of control following the birth of her daughter Mina.
Debbie said: "She would touch everything. I couldn't control her,
"When she was about six months old, the depression kicked in and I hit rock bottom.
"I rang my husband and said, 'I can't do this anymore'.
"I even asked to be sectioned.
"I felt I was inflicting my disorder on other people."
Now, with her own condition under control after therapy, Debbie has set up the region's first OCD support group.
Debbie, a part-time NHS health trainer, said: "It's a very secretive illness, but people don't need to suffer in silence. OCD is still a bit taboo. People don't understand it.
"I was a child when I started to notice I was different.
"I had a fear of fire and thought my house was going to burn down.
"I'd carry out rituals and couldn't touch door handles because I thought somebody in my family was going to die.
"Sometimes I would wash my face excessively and I would have really dry skin.
"People didn't know how to react. My behaviour was often very bizarre. I always felt isolated."
Debbie was diagnosed with the illness when she was 16 after her boyfriend at the time gave her a leaflet about OCD.
She said she didn't know how to react at first and wasn't fully aware of the condition.
"Now I'm grateful for what he did because it was the first time I'd been pushed to get help," she said.
"It was then that I was diagnosed with the disorder and started seeing a psychiatric nurse. It did help, but I think I was still in denial.
"She would talk to me about the disorder and I'd try to understand why I had certain obsessions.
"They were predominately about cleaning, dirt contamination and checking everything.
"I would move a chair loads of times until I felt it was in the right place.
"I thought I had control over whether people lived or died and it wasn't rational, but at the time I couldn't see beyond that."
Although she says will never fully recover from her disorder, the future now looks bright for Debbie. Since last summer, she has been gathering support for a new group, made up of local people affected in some way by OCD.
She is also now in her second year at the University of Hull, studying a degree in psychology.
Debbie said: "People think if you have OCD you can't live a normal life.
"My parents didn't understand, it was alien to them. My mum passed away last March and it spurred me on to start a group.
"My dad now knows more about my condition and is really proud of what I'm doing.
"Sometimes I will still go into a cleaning frenzy and I will move things lots of times, but my condition is more under control.
"My old rituals are still in my mind, I just have to keep myself occupied.
"I'm quite obsessed about my weight and appearance and how people see me, but things are better.
"I want to continue to learn more about myself and I keep an open mind.
"I take life as it comes and the more I help other people, the more in turn it will help me."
10
24 Comments
View all
by JohnEG
Sunday, February 05 2012, 6:02PM
“The person does know she has ocd, but as you say it's probably not gone away but she has learnt to control / live with it.
poodledoodle2 - maybe hermit was the wrong word. Although my brother does visit the doctors and does his own shopping, he prefers to be on his own, listening to the radio. He seems to be happy and I visit him every week. He does have a landline phone if he needs to contact anyone.”
by poodledoodle2
Sunday, February 05 2012, 2:26PM
“I like to play devil's advocate, what is hermit doing to provide for himeself ?”
by DebsOCD
Sunday, February 05 2012, 11:31AM
“Thank you for your kind comments……
I quite agree! It is very hard to know what is "normal" with regards to being clean. I spend everyday contemplating "what would a normal person do when faced with the situation I'm in right now?"……but what is normal anyway?
Research has shown, and from my own experience, if somebody has intense OCD it never really goes away, but waxes and wanes depending on life stressors. Maybe you could mention OCD to this person you know and see how the conversation goes……
Sadly, the media has a strong grip on how individuals view all aspects of mental illnesses. As a society we need to turn this into a positive influence by people talking about their "real" experiences to help break down negative stereotypes. It's good that he has a supportive brother in yourself and I do hope that one day soon he will find the courage to seek help.”
by JohnEG
Sunday, February 05 2012, 2:15AM
“Well done Debbie - I appreicate you making your story public. I admire you for seeking help.
I also know someone who had, maybe still has, OCD. It is very hard to distingish between clean and not clean. Adverts / programmes on telly don't help: Dettox, hand gell, Grime busters, etc.
One of my older brothers suffers from schizophrenia, he is a "hermit" living in Hull - not a mad axeman as the press make out schizophrenics to be. My brother wouldn't hurt a fly, but unlike you he won't seek help. He's shy and doesn't like meeting people (ultra shy). He won't even have a TV, PC / internet or mobile phone.
Not sure why I'm posting this - it's probably posting my thoughts after reading Debbie's story.”
by DebsOCD
Saturday, February 04 2012, 9:28PM
“Thank you to everyone who has shown their support by leaving positive comments regarding my story. Opening up has been one of the hardest things I've had to do and the sole reason I did it was to reach out to all those who are affected by this debilitating disorder. For all those people out there who are suffering from OCD, depression, or any other mental illness…there is help out there, you are not alone and it will, and can only make you a stronger person…. in-fact a survivor!
Unfortunately for those who can't see outside their own life and are ignorant to what's happening to the majority of people (at least once during their life) I believe there is no help available-I only hope that they are never faced with such disorders.
Thank you once again for all your support……Debs xx”
by goodtogo
Saturday, February 04 2012, 7:13PM
“Congratulations to Debbie for speaking out about this fairly unknown illness. I hope this story encourages sufferers to be as brave and talk to someone about it.
I think the less attention these idiots who think they're funny get the better.”
by ShelliB73
Saturday, February 04 2012, 5:29PM
“Well done Debs for being so brave and sharing your story. You have worked so hard to set up your support group. As for the ignorant comments, it just goes to show what little awareness there is for OCD, and how much a support group is needed. Xx”
by francis31
Saturday, February 04 2012, 5:29PM
“This is a serious condition your in total turmoil inside yes you can make a joke of it if you have it only mild but if you have it big time it causes so many problems its no laughing matter when it gets out of control you feel isolated you lose all logic my sister has it big time and she tryed ending her life,if you have it you really have to help yourself and education is everything i too had it but ive educated myself and had counciling and im now in total control of it ive changed my thinking it wasnt easy took me years to get over it im trying to help my sister now but i dont think she wants to put the effort in to get better which is really frustrating my family, shes living back at my mam and dads to get away from her rountine at home which really isnt helping her at all shes 40 years old get a grip!!!!”
by Mrs_T__Hull
Saturday, February 04 2012, 5:10PM
“@rowedge, you have a funny way of showing your support when you bring up age old issues you have with someone who has made an IMMENSELY brave step. Saying that what she has done for today's paper has been immensely brave and wishing the group luck would have shown your support. Tittle Tattle regarding something that happened privately between the two of you over 7 years ago on a story that was supposed to be positive was a bit pathetic, really, wasn't it?
Never saw the share things, used the URL to share the story over social media.
Share my comment with who exactly? Feel free, I'm just wondering. Unless you meant "too", meaning 'as well'. I have no intention of sharing anyone elses comments, all I care about is Debs feeling support, and other sufferers of OCD in the local area having an outlet where they can meet people who truly understand them and what they deal with on a day to day basis. I really hope that people take up this opportunity and can make as much head way in coping as Debbie has done.
Good luck @DebsOCDsupport!”
by Forest_66
Saturday, February 04 2012, 4:40PM
“NJ1977
Surely OCD should be CDO (in alphabetical order like it should be)
I'll get me coat”