Retail Therapist: Nailing it this spring with Mariah Carey

Nail art has never been so popular which, of course, darling, is exactly why the fashion mob have immediately turned their collective backs on the whole thing.

If they are doing it in Essex – bodycon, fake tan, slapper heels – then you can guarantee no hipster Hoxton-ite is going to be seen dead going anywhere near it. And let’s face it there is nothing than a fake girl likes more than a few glittery nail tips and a 3D butterfly on her ring finger.

It is exactly why the nails for all the spring/summer catwalks were nude, neutral and rounded into a gentle oval.

I have always been a big fan of the neutral nail: it makes me feel like I am more sophisticated than I could ever claim to be. If my nails are painted beige, I tend to do a lot of pointing and gesturing just so people can spot how grown up and groomed I am. I have a feeling this may immediately give the game away but I just can’t help myself.

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I am also a big fan of a classic blue/red (as opposed to red/orange) nail – probably for similar reasons. I like to imagine I am immediately recreating the glamour of a 1950s Hollywood star – Liz Taylor preferably but any of them broads will do – when really I am sure no-one is fooled.

Never been a glitter girl, though. Well, not since I was about 13 when I might as well have just stood in a Barbie-esque glitter wind tunnel before I left the house so covered in small shiny things was I. Back then, nails were very likely to be even painted in about five different, alternating shades before the glitter was applied, which probably makes you realise why I crave an aura of sophistication now – I was definitely far from it back in the day.

My sparkle rehabilitation has meant I am therefore undecided about the new matte glitter trend that is also currently being touted as the sophisticated way to feed your inner magpie.

It is all about texture, you see, and I have just never really managed to embrace any of the textured nail trends so far.

The new matte glitter has the added issue of being endorsed by mad as a box of frogs, puppy-loving Mariah Carey (who is involved with OPI’s version of the product). I am not sure which marketing genius came up with that partnership but they were definitely having an off day.

Anyhows, I guess we need to get down to brass tacks and see where it is we can get all the best nail stuff for this summer.

As referenced already, try OPI Liquid Sand (Mariah carey collection – from £8ish per bottle or boxed set available) or Zoya (£10.50 from www.amarya.co.uk – the “periwinkle Nyx shade might just persuade me to take the plunge).

Or you could go to me old fave Barry M, which has just brought out a range of grainy matte varnishes in pastel colours that seem a bit more fun and, at just £3.99 a pop, a lot easier on the old purse strings.

They do not, it has to be said, have any real air of sophistication about them, which - I guess – is exactly why they are right up my street.

Follow Lucy Lyon on Twitter @lucy_lyon