Who was St Valentine?
That Geoffrey Chaucer was a one.
Not content with being the father of modern English, he was also the man who invented Valentine's Day, at a time when the courtly appeal of chivalry and romance were flourishing.
In fact, Chaucer was the first man to put quill to paper linking Valentine's Day with the notion of romantic love, way back in 1382, in his poem Parlement of Foules.
In it, Chaucer, the soppy old goat, wrote: "For this was on seynt Volantynys day. Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make."
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Which, in modern English roughly translates, as: "For this was on Saint Valentine's Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate."
Arguably, before the medieval Englishman invented Valentine as the patron saint of lovers, the real man behind the legend wasn't really known for his red roses or boxes of heart-shaped chocolates.
We're not even really sure who he was. There were three Valentines in third-century Rome who could possibly have been the basis for the man we now celebrate on February 14 every year.
The most likely candidate was a Roman priest called Valentinus, who was martyred during the reign of Emperor Claudius II, known as Claudius Gothicus.
It is said Valentinus was arrested and imprisoned after being caught marrying Christian couples, which was considered a crime at the time.
Claudius took a liking to his prisoner – until Valentinus tried to convert the Emperor – whereupon the priest was condemned to death.
He was beaten with clubs and stones and, when that failed to kill him, he was beheaded outside the Flaminian Gate in the Eternal City, which isn't an ideal way to spend a date night.
Other legends have it that Valentinus performed a miracle during his time in prison, when he is said to have healed the blind daughter of his jailer Asterius.
The earliest surviving Valentine card itself is a 15th-century poem, which was written by Charles, Duke of Orléans, to his wife, while he was imprisoned in the Tower Of London after his capture at the Battle of Agincourt.
It reads: "Je suis desja d'amour tanné. Ma tres doulce Valentinée."
Which shows that, even 600 years ago, it may have been an Englishman who invented Valentine's Day, but it took a Frenchman to make it sound really sexy.