“Once had a smashing hol in Corfu. Proper oily breakfast with a budweiser thrown in (thoughtful at quarter to eight in the morning). Mind you, I also like Skeggy (always plenty of Redcoats to entertain you. Would have liked to have gone to Aussie to see my auntie Elsie but alas the Euromills are eluding me.

March time sees a few days at Haggerston Castle in Northumberland with a Holy Island trip. Not bad too. Ever so cheap, caravans are cold in Winter but I've got thermals and some of those caravans have convector heaters, kettles and carpets so no trouble there then.

So to recap then, London of Scotland (if in the UK)
Spain of Greece (if out of the UK).

The Spanish don't seem to understand the mentality of the Brit, but pretend they do. I've been there many times, have been bored with old churches, hate bullfighting but would go again.

One place I would never recommend is Tunisia. I spent a year there one fortnight. We cried to come home. There was a problem with the aeroplane too so we had to spend two more nights there so we cried again. It was bad.”

“London **or** Scotland (yep that's better). And er, strangely Spain **or** Greece. Must be losing it again.”

“Yes it was a strange experience, I was about 20, been for a walk down the 'prom' and saw a little Taverna offering ""Ful England Brefass"" and thought, "Count me in!" I sat in the sunshine awaiting my meal and heard 'clunk' followed by a smaller 'clunk' and lo and behold, a bottle of Bud to wash it down. Being so shy and well mannered I hadn't the heart to say "Bit early for boozing, love". I drank the Bud, then ordered a cuppa. Wonderful. Greek people are just so friendly. Think nothing of getting you dancing before tea-time. good memories.”

“Tell you what i hated the most at Tunisia. The fact that you don't go out of an evening, apart from your own hotel. We were told not to venture out of the complex after dark because it was dangerous. Being a little headstrong, we did and it was.

I remember gangs of youths on motorbikes following us 'whooping' like crazed dogs. What that was about I don't know but there was also a night where a very persuasive couple of guys wanted us to go down a side street to see their 'house' when I got shirty with them after my third refusal I was verbally abused to the point that I was ready for a set-to.

Often wondered if it was a trap, although why they didn't do it there and then (whatever they had in mind) I don't know. The road was no more than a dark mud track with no neighbourhood to speak of.

My missus at the time was ready to come home by day two. She was heavily pregnant too which made it all the worse. When the flight was delayed twelve days later she was distraught. Luckily the hotel they put us in for the two days was leaps and bounds better than the one we'd been in. But the general consensus of the rest of the guests was that it was poor. So the one we had been in for nearly two weeks would have paled into insignificance.

This was the food, with a blindfold on you wouldn't have been able to taste the difference between a spoonful of mash or ice-cream, perhaps the ice-cream would have been cooler. We vowed there and then that we would never go there again, ever! I never have.”

“Skegness is brilliant,but if had the chance I would jump on a plane now and off to Florida and spend the rest of my life there,swim with dolphin to take all you trouble away.”

“my mum put me off Tunisia ...she said the men just lift their robes up and number 2 in the street :(

In terms of a holiday I am a bit of a chav ... all inclusive, plenty of beer and my hairdryer - is a must

Cuba in 4 weeks .... whoop whoop”

“Sensational,

` Some caravans have convector heaters`

Have you been in a caravan recently?”

“Yes m'dear! Twas a jest. I know they're beautiful and ours is gold standard (extra £25 off season). Probably have everything but a mini-bar (extra £20)”

“It was thirteen years ago. I'm pretty basic, I've paid the cash, all I want is comfort, a decent meal, plenty to drink and basic hygiene. i don't wanna poo in a hole in a field, I don't want ancient relics or sandstorms, I want views, sun and maybe a swim. Perhaps a nice walk on a beach. I want to smell fresh air. This place smelt like a sewer, all day every day. It was not good.”

“Elephant12 has indeed been there and assures me that we will go one day. If only the durn place weren't full of Yanks! Oops! Racist!!!!”

“Newlad,

Touring caravans do have chemical toilets but most sites have great toilet blocks anyway. Static caravans have flush toilets with full sewage systems.”

“It was called 'Hotel Saad'. Apt, I thought. There was a Ken Barlowe lookalike who'd been there seven years running. We looked at each other and shrieked "WHAT?1?!?" Together. Like we'd rehearsed it. The thought of it makes my blood run cold. If I won a holiday there I wouldn't give it to someone I didn't like.”

“I am going back Newlad .. playa pesquero ....it is heaven ...just got to loose a bit of weight first though cause there are no Americans to make me look slim :)”

“We stick to the UK caravanning, which means our dog gets to go with us. We go to the lakes, Yorkshire dales, east coast resorts and have a great time. Obviously it depends on the weather as to how good a time- we got badly rained off in the lakes earlier this year. That's not to say we don't like holidaying abroad as well, but just occasionally. I don't like overpowering heat, I prefer pleasantly warm and dry weather but of course you get what comes in England!”

“jz

Years ago a friend found a husband in Tunisia and came back engaged after a week's holiday. He had been sitting outside her hotel shouting at all the female tourists (so she told me) and she responded.

After she returned to the UK he kept having problems which required her sending him large amounts of money and he suddenly discovered he had a wife and baby and needed about £5,000 for a divorce. Which she also sent him. I think he earned about £5 a week but she couldn't see that £5,000 was completely OTT.

He came to the UK with nothing but the clothes he was wearing and she supported him until his visa came through, when he promptly left her.

Needless to say I warned her about him so often that she fell out with me (all her other friends were encouraging her to go for it) and we were no longer in contact when he left her.”

“Can't remember if all the flippin' hotels were called Hotel Saad, as in, that's the 'brand' name as in 'Royal' Hotel. But seeing as I am never going back I won't be thinking too much about this wonderful place much ever again. In fact, the thought of it now means I need something to lighten myself up a bit. The pit of my stomach has caved in.”

“I remember getting caught in this sandstorm and we thought our skin would come off. Our five year old lad (at the time) was screaming, we couldn't get any shelter. It was like a nightmare. I have never been so happy to get out of a place and back home. If someone told me they were going there my heart would sink for them.

That really tickled me newlad "keep breathing out and the smell's not so bad". Ha, difficult for two weeks! I seem to remember a small 'roach problem everywhere. Or was it ants, or both. Anyway, enough already!”

“reallyyoung

I have been told Stories of that sort of thing going on , but not just with Tunisian males , I think it goes with most 3rd world countries and some that are not , they tend to pray on the most vulnerable in life , and it's the same the world over , but sad really .

Shame you lost a friend .

But were do I go on holiday this year ?”

“Hotel entertainment - a guy who could tie himself in knots and play one note on a bong-looking flute thing. Seeing as i was game for a laugh (I was the only one who'd dance with him) he decided to let me have some fun with his pet scorpions. I had three on each arm and one on each cheek (face). Apparently with one sting I could have been hospitalised for the rest of the holiday. I prayed... but it didn't happen!”

“When we came home I marched into the travel agents and gave them a list of our grouses (many) and they said that we should have taken it up with the rep. "We have a list of people on our books that are very happy with the hotel. You'd have been given an alternative if you'd have complained". Very well rehearsed I thought. Never did see that list.

We got forty quid back and £70 vouchers off any holiday booked within the company valid for ten months, which we never used. Should have perhaps argued the toss but were afraid they'd bundle us back in our suitcases and send us back there!

Can I just footnote the fact that I've been abroad about ten times in my life and have never felt that the holiday warranted any sort of complaint. I appreciate cultures are different, holidays are diverse, etc.”

“newlad, wherever you go, be very immune to Rapunzel cooing from a window :))”

“New lad,
Have you tried Italy? I love it, there are many beautiful regions that are not teeming with Brits!
The Piedmont region is stunning and house rentals are reasonable, my favourite lake is Lake Orta, off the tourist trail and utterly beautiful, don't tell everybody though!
Italian food is of course amazing, simple and cheap.We ate outstanding pizza with a pudding and pitchers of wine for around £6.00 a head.”

“I think I'd like Italy and I bet that wine was beautiful. They do wine pretty good those Italians.”

“That was it, Hotel Saadia in Monastir, I'll pull a random review off and copy and paste it.....

My family and i arrived at this hell hole on 1st july 2012 ....... What a shock we got .T he first room they put us in the beb sheets we sooooo dirty , give them there due they moved us to another room straight away ?????? Our second room was worse if at all possible!!!!!! lights hanging off wall...

Wozza? was that you my great friendly BHE!????”

“Another one.....

This was possibly the worst experience ever! Both myself and my partner were so sick from the food here we could leave the room during the second week of our stay:( the rooms were basic like a hostel and dirty, the animation team were rude and insulting. The location is terrible, you have to walk down the road to the hotel "beech" where you can be harassed by locals and there isn't anywhere to get a drink! The only good thing about this place was leaving. We did actually try to arrange a flight so we could go home early but they were fully booked! Avoid like the plague, this place should be shut down as it is a health risk!

And i thought we had it tough. Another.....

hotel disgusting,.....toilet not fixed to the floor, shower curtain fell everytime it was used..broken tiles around the pool..the food was disgusting, my husband was soo ill with food poisoning he had a stroke and had to stay in hospital for 13 days after we left...the thomascook rep wasnt interested, everyone was after my money, even the man checking us in ...i would never recomend this hotel to anyone

Gawd! We were lucky huh?”

“Freespirit, that is the one thing I really miss when I'm on hols. My beautiful doggy. I always put him in Jarratt Hills at Gilberdyke. They give him a great time and it's good there but he misses his dad so i always pick him back up on my return. ;)”

“newlad

She was a good friend but she wasn't happy with me for not encouraging her, and I was too good a friend to encourage her.

I have no idea where you should go on holiday (my post was addressed to jz as another reason she shouldn't go to Tunisia) but I see you have been given plenty of advice - half of them from the same poster. Wow.”

“My advice newchap is read a few reviews on the hotel/resort. They're all online nowadays so it's worth having a look for a bit of peace of mind. If i'd have read those reviews about 'Hotel Sad' as we called it i'd have never gone, and i agree, my advice has been prolific, as have my posts. I wondered if anyone would say anything. Perhaps most are too polite, given the time of year an' all eh?”

“I understand, sometimes when you look at what you've typed you think 'how the hell did that happen?' The perfect example of this is the 4.37 post above when I put 'of'' instead of 'or', not once but twice. I looked at it and thought 'dimwit'. Hence my 'losing it again' comment. It's because we're obviously thinking about something else and we go into auto-pilot. I really should check before I submit! Never mind eh? It's not real!”

“Yes, I would never call anyone else it, I'd be too worried about offending them. It's just used as one of the 'special' words that I have for myself.”