“....or do they just use it as a reference manual, he he.”

“No”

“I read them all out of a morbid sense of curiosity and they are unremittingly god-awful.

However, they did lead me to an ebook called 'Lighter Shades of Grey - A (Very) Critical Guide' which is superb and unspeakably funny. Even better, it's written by a lady called Cassandra Parkin who is from Hull and still lives in the area.

She's done all three books. The first is the funniest because once you notice the emotional abuse in the protagonists' relationship, it's hard to find the funny.”

“Nope, my copy is still sitting on the shelf that I put it on when my neighbour lent me it.”

“Don't read books no point”

“jenoh

What? All 50?”

“BHEchap,

What about reference manuals for trucks? ;)”

“Honestly no”

“I tried so hard to read this book, I am proud to say I failed!”

“Missfoodlove...now if it had have been about grub ;))”

“I looked at the colour chart in B&Q. Settled for two shades of yellow.”

“"In the short summer night she learned so much. She would have thought a woman would have died of shame... She felt, now, she had come to the real bedrock of her nature, and was essentially shameless. She was her sensual self, naked an unashamed. She felt a triumph, almost a vainglory. So! That was how it was! That was life! That was how onself really was! There was nothing left to disguise or be ashamed of. She shared her ultimate nakedness with a man, another being."”

“I hope this doesn't mean that the HDM is serialising the book. LOL”

“Gw69 - don't panic. 50 Shades is written in the first person.”

“Eurgh, so Pippa is describing her own love life then?

What makes it even worse is that she`s a granny and has only just let a man see her naked ;-)”

“flossy

Great minds ... but I couldn't bring myself to post it.

Glad you were brave enough.”

“Flossy

Flattered that you think I am able to compose such a great piece but it is actually an extract from Lady Chatterley's Lover written in the 20s and caused much controversy for decades. Looking at the reviews of 50 Shades (and labouring thro' 3 chapters before ditching it) it appears to be a manual of soft porn...not my cuppa lol

From what you let slip on here you're not much younger than me, so does that mean you don't believe in sexual relations after a certain age ? Such a shame for a beautiful blond such as yourself...oh I forgot, that's not you, is it ? For all anyone knows you could be a little wrinkly grey haired old lady. Thing is, I'm not ;)”

“Well you're certainly not a lady. Not from all your abusive and insulting posts anyway. LOL.”

“That's a rather sexist remark, if I may say so ghostwriter (if you're referring to me that is)

Altho' I did say and I quote, "Thing is, I'm not"

And you, my dear, certainly wouldn't fit into that category either”

“newlad


well there's pippa27, cara_mia, MYWhyatt and Little_Ole_G - but I guess as they are all the same people, that poster doesn't have enough hands.”

“No-one's over 60! How would they be able to use a computer!? Gawd!”

“LOL”

“WOW

I went in WHSmith Kingswood, asked the assistant "Do you have any books on 'shay' locomotives? I'm particularly interested in the 'grading' of locos" She said "The books on locos are in the railway section." So i duly made my way to the said section, decided to go for it......I shouted, perhaps a tad too loudly.... "I WAS ACTUALLY AFTER A BOOK CALLED FIFTY GRADES OF SHAY".

My goodness, I've never seen anyone go so red!

Ha. Wish I'd have had someone videoing it!”

“Do you think you should be posting jokes Mimi, with such a sombre mood running thro' the threads an' all ?”

“dj,

"looks like poor old steveodore might have had his nose pushed out too. There'll be no chance of the room on the west wing coming up now I'll bet."

What are you going on about here?”

“bt,
You neglected to mention if you had read it.”

“No I am waiting for the dvd ;)”

“bt,
Nice :)
Who's playing the lead part's?
Do you think anyone on here may be suitable?”

“steveodore

why do you keep having little digs?”

“havent read it so I dont know the storyline ... but I am aware that its about rude stuff, so I couldnt typecast any individual posters ... however there are plenty of moaners on the site :)”

“No, I've not read it and have no interest in it whatsoever. It really isn't the type of reading I would enjoy. I like English police procedurals and biographies. Royalty is my favourite subject at present, I can't get enough royal family biographies lately! I digress- I have heard and read a lot about 50 shades, it just isn't my cup of tea.”

“I suspect that a lot of the copies of this book have been bought and not read.”

“g69,

Lighten up a bit will ya.

It wasn't a dig at anyone in partic ( although I assume it's about the antics of a man and a woman ?) so I did have in mind a couple of characters when I wrote said comment. You weren't one of them you will be pleased to know.”

“steveodore

Maybe I'm not one of the ones you were thinking about THIS time but you have named me in similar comments on earlier posts.

You may think it's amusing, I don't.”

“steveodore - to be fair to g69 - if had linked me with the said poster I would be upset too”