Almost an about-face on my beard beliefs
I am not a huge fan of Movember. There is a weird smugness about it and, as a charitable event, I think it is a bit of a non-affair: few people seem to be aware of the underlying cause and no money is raised.
I am left discombobulated by it.
It may also have been a contributing factor to the current, massive facial hair trend among the male of the species.
Over the past few years, you will have no doubt noticed the increasing number of dandies about town who are wearing waxed and groomed moustaches of every size and shape (although handlebars are seemingly the current choice among the terminally hip).
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There is also a growing number of men who have started embracing the full hairy face of Dave Lee Travis et al.
Now, how you feel about beards, whiskers, moustaches and the like is obviously entirely personal.
I have so far lived through the physics teacher full-face beard of the 1980s, the George Michael designer stubble years and the carefully groomed tramlines of the Craig David era but – despite a blip in the 1990s, when, for about two weeks, I found goatees the height of attraction – I have to admit to feeling rather ambivalent to the whole thing.
Rightly or wrongly, I always imagine those sporting facial hair are, in fact, trying to hide something slightly flawed underneath the whiskers.
Weak chin? Thin upper lip?
Just overcompensate by growing a big old beard and proving you are the daddy.
My ill-thought out theory has, of course, been thrown into disarray this week.
For if you have watched any of the awards shows currently doing the rounds – Baftas being the one that caught my eye – you will see that suddenly the most handsome men on the planet have decided to go for the full facial eclipse as well.
And we know for a fact these men have nothing to hide.
Clooney – a man who never looks anything other than suave – has taken to sporting a full grey affair that only reinforces his general handsomeness. Affleck, in properly clipped 1970s style full-face beard, seems to be announcing to the world he is now a true man.
While twinkly Bradley Cooper, who often errs on just the right side of scruffy, has opted for Sonny Crockett stubble, which looks effortless but is probably the hardest to maintain without looking like a buffoon.
Other beardy types include Hugh Jackman, Damien Lewis and Joaquin Phoenix, who has long since flirted with a massive Grizzly Adams look but, as he is known for his "quirky" ways, is somewhat of a loose cannon if you are looking at male trends.
At one point at the Baftas there were three men on stage and every single one of them had at least half a face covered in bristle of one length or another.
I am not sure if they were secretly comparing their growths but as men tend to turn everything they do into a testosterone-induced sport then surely the ability to grow hair on your chin would be a major competition.
If that is the case, then you have to feel sorry for poor old Simon Pegg, who managed just a strangely straggly ginger affair that neither enhanced nor detracted from his flaws.
And in one fell swoop, he reminded me why I was not that keen after all.