'We must tackle homophobic bullying in open and honest debate'
Beverley Mayor Margaret Pinder and her daughter Freya Bryson tell the Mail's Kevin Shoesmith about a plan to tackle homophobic bullying ...
A LIGHTER and a can of hairspray were produced from one of the schoolgirls' bags.
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CAMPAIGNING FOR TOLERANCE: Beverley Mayor Councillor Margaret Pinder, with her daughter Freya Bryson at home in Beverley. Picture: Rob Stebbing
Freya Bryson, then aged 15, knew what was coming next as the girls laughed and jeered at her.
"They set me on fire just because I was bisexual," she says, scarred by the childhood memory but determined to draw from her own experiences to tackle the problem of homophobic bullying.
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Today, Freya is joining forces with her mother, Beverley Mayor Councillor Margaret Pinder, in a bid to educate schools about this form of bullying.
Now aged 22 and studying for a degree away from East Yorkshire, Freya, who attended all-girls Beverley High School, says: "This is something we both feel really strongly about tackling.
"Rightly, other forms of bullying, based on race and looks, are being tackled, but homophobic bullying has been overlooked to a large extent."
Mother and daughter plan to write to schools requesting an "honest and open" debate about tackling bullying and "outdated" views on sexuality.
If head teachers agree, they are considering visiting schools and giving assemblies about the topic.
Margaret, who is heterosexual, says: "We are talking about taking positive steps to address the problem.
"Regularly, you hear young people use the term 'gay' to describe something that is negative.
"But young people need to understand this is not an acceptable form of discourse. It is discriminatory."
Bullying is hard to identify, admits Margaret, who picks out homophobic discrimination as one of the hardest to detect due to the fact victims are often reluctant to report it to their teachers.
She says: "It's very hard for me because I am not in school. But I know teachers cannot spot every incident of bullying, in whatever form that might take.
"But we can seek to address it by having a very open and honest debate with head teachers and pupils themselves."
Margaret, who insists she has no quarrel with individual schools, says she is confident head teachers will take up their offer.
"From my own dealings with head teachers in Beverley, I am sure they will be supportive and work with us," she says.
"Schools tend to acknowledge bullying and strive hard to address it much more than in the past.
"I am doing this because I care very much about the next generation."
In a bid to connect with young people, Margaret says she and her daughter plan to use Lady Gaga as a shining example.
The gay-friendly singer has often spoken out against homophobic bullying and insisted young people should not be afraid to be themselves.
Last year, she released her second album, Born This Way, which explores the issue of sexuality.
Margaret says: "Lady Gaga has been very outspoken about the subject and I applaud her for it.
"We live in an age where it is no longer a criminal offence to be gay. We have civil partnerships. This really should not be an issue. To us, it is the same as having ginger hair – you're a bit different. But why not?
"Unfortunately, however, it seems it is still an issue for a lot of people."
Margaret believes some pupils will happily say they are gay, but there are many who are afraid of coming out.
She said: "Back in my day, a student would never had dared let on. Now, there are openly gay people in schools.
"However, a lot of people tend to 'come out' only once they have left school. Why is this so?
"Of course, people know they are gay when they are younger but they perhaps fear the reaction. This is something we want to look at."
Freya, who is studying for a degree in film and literature at the University of Warwick, says she experienced, first-hand, the cruelty of children.
"I found it very hard to approach staff at the school," she says. "For others, it's still something people feel uncomfortable talking about.
"All of my gay and bisexual friends today who went to high schools all over the country said they had a really difficult time, so it's not just here."
Freya, who left Beverley High School in 2008 after completing her A levels, says some girls made her life a misery.
"PE was awkward," she says. "Some of the girls would even make me get changed in the toilets.
"There was this perception that because I was bisexual I somehow fancied every girl at the school."
Freya was not seriously hurt in the hairspray incident, but as is often the case with bullying, it is the emotional scars that take the longest to heal.
"It really upset me that someone would attack me just because I happened to be a bit different," she says.
Sharon Japp, head teacher at Beverley High School said: "Beverley High School has a robust anti-bullying policy in place. Any incidents of bullying reported are investigated and procedures followed."
Comments
by GarethC2010
Monday, September 24 2012, 3:35PM
“@nopasaran. I'm sure my comments may well make you feel anxious as yours also do to me.
You have clearly missed my point regarding sexual orientation. My point was that I don't subscribe to the whole 'born this way' notion. If you claim that someones sexual preferences are genetic or somehow inbuilt then how can you deny others even more deviant practices. You cannot claim that homosexuals are 'born that way' and paedophiles or others just happen to have sinister sexualy preferences that are somehow just their own choices. My point also is that if you eliminate God's law from society then you have no moral guidlelines left. If for example gay marriage is legalised then why can someone else not lay claim to other deviant sexual practises as their human right. If two men can marry whose to say that further down the line things could get far worse ? We are already starting to see governments wanting to introduce three parents on a birth certificate.
My second point was that three million people subscribed to the online petition opposing gay marriage and have basically been told by the government that their voices are being ignored and that they are pressing on with the plan. No government would ignore 3 million people on ANY OTHER matter.
You mentioned being a Anglican which does not surprise me in the slightest. The Church of England in the UK is a fading organisation that does not represent Christianity in it's true form. It has succumbed to false doctrine and that is why it is treated with such contempt. The fact is that being an Anglican will not hold any weight when you stand before the Lord. 'Many will say to me on that day, Lord, Lord, and I will say to them, depart I never knew you'. You cannot be a true follower of Jesus Christ and accept homosexuality as being permittable by God. Please do not misunderstand me, God will accept any repentent sinner but the emphasis is on the word repentent.
Your comments sadden me but do not surprise me as they are reflective of much of the Anglican church. Unfortunately when atheists, homeosexuals are various other miscreants are all permitted to be ordained within a church organisation ultimately they will become no different to the world.
I would urgently plead with you to seek the truth of the glorious Gospel of Jesus Christ which I am glad to say saved a wretch like me.”
by nopasaran
Friday, September 21 2012, 3:11PM
“PS: Sorry guys, the word 'have' in para 1 is superfluous. I dunno how it got there. But you'll probably conclude that the entire flippin' comment was superfluous! Ah well...”
by nopasaran
Friday, September 21 2012, 3:07PM
“GarethC2010's comments make me feel slightly anxious. Initially, the response is all sweetness and reason - but, then, there seems to be a change of tone. We are given the line that sexuality is a matter of choice and, next, paedophilia is introduced in a totally inapposite context. In what way are the sexual choices of adults have connected with child molestation? - Please explain.
And are three million English and Welsh people really being muzzled? The HDM hasn't denied GarethC2010 access to its website, and would probably also welcome a well put-together letter to the editor.
Oh, by the way, I am a regular churchgoer (Anglican) and communicant - it's the quiet, reflective 'early doors', 08.00 service for me: the later 'all singing, all dancing' events are far too noisy for this old cove (and, objectively, a bit gay?!). And I am in favour of gay marriage? Yes, strongly so. Nobody who disapproves would be forced to enter into a gay marriage - but, to be more earnest, no priest, rabbi, imam, wiccan priestess, druid, etc, could be made to celebrate the formal conjunction of two gay or bisexual hearts.
OK? Does that apply a salve to every stringently 'straight' person's sores? I do hope so - though I doubt it: I've disagreed with fundamentalist Christians in the past, and enjoyed doing so!”
by joe529048
Friday, September 21 2012, 12:07PM
“Schools that are currently tackling and preventing homophobic language and bullying are creating supportive and inclusive environments. They are not asking children to make moral judgements on the subject of homosexuality, they simply want children to appreciate that everyone is different and that there should be no reason to discriminate against others just because they are different to you. After all, most major religious groups have signed up to an agreement that it is wrong to discriminate against others.
In the Stonewall Education Champion schools I've been in programmes for combating homophobic bullying have simply been about developing empathy and respect amongst children. This is hardly a bad thing. Children I have spoke to from religious backgrounds can get on board with this approach and engage with a topic of homophobia without having to compromise their religious beliefs. In many ways it sits nicely with a religious tradition of treating others as we would expect to be treated ourselves. Love thy neighbour.”
by Demonica666
Thursday, September 20 2012, 11:35PM
“@FreyaBryson; your posts are erudite and appropriate. You are obviously an intelligent and rational person. Despite the awful treatment afforded you, you have the strength of character to speak out and fight for your cause. I write this not as a gay, bi or transgender person, but as a heterosexual woman who recognises that there are those in this world who need to be more tolerant and accepting. I hope you get much support. You certainly have mine.”
by MimiTheDJ
Thursday, September 20 2012, 4:28PM
“Thank goodness that homophobia seems to be on the decline. I'm hetero and have worked with gay people in my role as an entertainer in pubs, clubs and the like. i also have a cousin who is gay and have never met a more caring set of people. Anyone who is worried about being friendly to a gay person think again!”
by cazmarelda
Thursday, September 20 2012, 1:14PM
“Thank you for your reply Freya, yes that is clearer.
I wish you all the best for the future...any project that aims towards reducing bullying is a worthy one.”
by GarethC2010
Thursday, September 20 2012, 12:18PM
“Hi Freya, typo excused, although it was quite funny.
My problems with so called equality is I am not sure that everything is equal. For example there is an ongoing debate about same sex marriage which as a Christian I have fairly strong opinions about (along with 3,000,000 other objectors who the Government are currently ignoring) Introducing same sex marriage as an equal to heteroxexual marriage is simply not right. The civil partnership legal rights are equal to marriage but the two simply are not the same.
What do we do when someone challenges marriage further down the line and says 'If a man can marry another man' or 'a woman can marry another womaon' then I should have the 'Human rights' to marry two women or three woman etc...or you should have the right to marry one of each. It is a slippery slope when everyone thinks they have a right to do anything that pleases them.
I think some people will always treat others in a less equal manner just the same as people currently treat religious people. My main point is that if people want to act in that way then I prefer to just let them. I read a newspaper article that was written by a gay rights activist who stated 'no religious people should be allowed in Government as they are dangerous' (William Wilberforce would turn in his grave) and so on. If that is not discrimination then I'm not sure what is.
In short I think that unless people are able to accept other views (even if they percieve them to be demeaning or derogatory) then really they are just trying to impose a dictatorial view on society.
I don't expect everyone to agree, but I also don't go crying to the nearest employment lawyer if someone calls me a bible basher or whatever the latest negative name happen to be.
Society would be far more tolerant with less discrimination legislation. Then everyone could just agree to disagree. It creates more tension between people when they see petty court battles going on whilst violent and dangerous people are waltzing out of court with petty warnings.”
by FreyaBryson
Thursday, September 20 2012, 11:36AM
“Also thank you Gareth for making this debate honest and open, which is what we want to do.”
by FreyaBryson
Thursday, September 20 2012, 11:35AM
“oh dear, I'm sorry Gareth I meant to say Hello not Hell to you at all! Horrible typo , I do apologise!”